Integrated Attachment Therapy/IPF
Sometimes, when we grow up with caregivers who — because of limitations of their own circumstances — aren’t able to be consistently supportive, attuned, or able to meet our needs, we don’t get to develop a deep sense of safety in ourselves or in relationships. This is what is referred to as insecure attachment. The term simply points to a familiar lived experience: not quite feeling grounded, safe, or fully valued in our earliest relationships.
When that happens, it can echo into adulthood in all kinds of ways. In our relationship with ourselves, it might feel like never being “good enough,” struggling with boundaries, pushing ourselves endlessly, or relying on harsh self-criticism to “stay in line”. In family relationships, it might show up as distance, mistrust, or hiding parts of who we are. In romantic relationships, it might take the shape of doubting our lovability or having trouble trusting our partner. At work, it can look like overworking, burnout, perfectionism, or not having a clear sense of what we actually want.
None of these patterns are a personal failing. They’re simply adaptations to an early environment that wasn't able to provide steady emotional safety.
Ideal Parent Figure (IPF), developed by Dr. Dan Brown and based on Buddhist practices, offers a way to rewrite those early imprints. Instead of talking through ideas, IPF uses a guided, felt-sense meditation where we imagine caregivers who are consistently safe, warm, attuned, and emotionally grounded. Caregivers who are able to take care of their own needs, and don't need us to meet thier needs. Caregivers who understand our particular personality, and delight in meeting our needs.
As this practice is repeated, our body and mind start to take in that sense of safety and worthiness. Feeling valued, cherished, and understood becomes something we actually experience from the inside. Over time, that internal shift begins to change how we relate to ourself and others—toward more trust, clearer boundaries, and a steadier sense of being worthy of love and connection.
